Faith, Farming, and Fertility

Our Faith

My husband and I were both blessed to be raised in Christian households. I say blessed because if you are believers like us you know how much easier life can be when you have your faith to guide you. It isn’t that life is easier than unbelievers, because I don’t believe that to be true at all, to be honest I think life is harder as a believer, but as a believer in God you are able to get through life’s hardships, find your purpose, and be joyful. Our faith guides our lives in every way. From our marriage, to our personal self, to our farm and our other business, you will find our faith at the core.

Our Farm

I am the farmer’s daughter. I hope to do a family history search sometime but have yet to find the time. I know that my dad states it became the family farm when his grandfather married the farmer’s daughter, but I don’t believe that to be true. Yes, the farm name changed to our family name when that marriage happened, but we cannot disconnect that farmers daughter, and her family’s history, for that is the change that is happening now with my husband and I. You see my husband was not a farmer before he met me. He became a farmer because of me and my dreams. Now our farm name has encompassed his family name, but I hope 100 years from now they don’t consider this the start of the family farm. My grandpa passed the family farm onto his boys, and eventually my father decided to run the dairy end of the farm. Now it is being placed in my hands.

It sounds simple but to think of all of the little steps that could have made life different for me is a lot, and is big reason my faith is so big. My dad’s bothers had opportunities to run the dairy farm, and if any of them had, life would have been a lot different for my sisters and I growing up. Not only that but I am one of the youngest cousins in our generation. And then there are my sisters. I am the youngest of four, yes four, girls. If any of them wanted the chance to run the roost, they had first dibs before I. Sometimes I think about how all the little steps worked out for it to fall into my hands to run with. Am I the lucky one, or the only crazy one that said “yes! I would love to work my life away with no guarantee of a paycheck!”. I honestly ask myself that a lot.

Although I say I run the dairy farm, I am far from the only family member that works on the farm. We have cash crops that my cousins do with my dad and my uncle. They also have a beef herd and raise their own farms. In today’s world you need more than one set of income to make a small size farm work. My husband has a full-time job working off from the farm because that is what is needed to run our family for the moment. My mom always worked jobs off and on to support us and even dad had jobs when we were younger. It doesn’t seem fair that a job that requires so much time and energy can’t supply you with a comfortable living, for if farmers put their normal daily effort into any other kind of paid job, we would all be millionaires. God creates farmers not for the money they can harvest but for the food they provide to a world in need. Farming is tough but, I can honestly say it teaches me the most important life lessons in an easy to understand way. I’m grateful to be the farmers daughter.

I met my husband back in 2015 and I remember on our very first date he asked, “I take it if you are to get married someday you would need a man that could up root and move for you”. The easy answer was yes, I couldn’t very well pick up my cows and move to the city. When I asked if that was something he could handle, I remember seeing panic in his eyes, mind you this was a first date conversation, but he said “I’d have to think about it”, and for the first time in my life I knew this man was a keeper. God knew I couldn’t handle a man that jumped into things without thinking things through. God knew I needed someone that would love me and yes move for me, but also accept the role not just as a farmer’s spouse but as a partner to not just me, but our farm. My husband is all that and so much more. When weddings state for better or worse, for farmers I feel it should read, for every bad harvest and low milk prices, for that tends to be a yearly battle. Farm life is hard but it is filled with so many more joys despite the lack of a paycheck. I will always be thankful that my other family members, uncles, cousins, sisters, everyone had a different passion in life that took them away from the dairy farm so that I had the opportunity to try and make it work, and even more thankful that they still show up to help when needed. I believe God has a plan for each of us individually, and I’m thankful for the opportunity to try and keep our dairy farm running so we can continue to pass it down on to the next generations.

My husband took the leap with me in and we got married in 2017. I thank God that Brandon was able to up root, and encompass my dreams alongside his own. Our goal is to be able to make enough income with our second business so that my husband can quit his third and full time, real job. We now own more cattle, are down two silos and got a new mixer because of that deal (long story for another day), increased production, stopped using a bull and now AI, and are in the process of building a new milking parlor. My husband likes to say these are my dreams not his, but I know God knew exactly what He was doing when He brought him into my life, and I see how often he searches marketplace for farm equipment, so I beg to differ.

Our Fertility

When my husband and I got married, I was 27 and he was 28. We both wanted a family right away but were in the swing of building A Little Patch of Heaven, a venue that we run alongside the farm, because as I mentioned earlier, you do need a second income to farm now a days, so stress seemed to be in our way. Once the stress of that was over in 2018, we started seeking help with doctors. We started monitoring everything, Brandon went through test and I gave so much blood it was exhausting. By 2019 we still had no answers. We were entering our 3rd Christmas as a married couple, when we finally were able to get into a fertility specialist. We saw that doctor for only a mere 5 minutes, but he literally destroyed the next 3 months of our lives. I never imagined that we would be told you will not be able to get pregnant. He said it so simply and was shocked that I had a complete breakdown right there in his office. He told me it was fine and for a bunch of money we could do IVF and be ok. It didn’t make any sense to us. How could we not do the simple thing God created us to do as husband and wife. Needless to say, we went into survival mode throughout the holidays and until we were able to get into other fertility specialist to get a second opinion. The beginning of 2020 brought renewed hope as both of those doctors stated we were perfectly healthy and that a little medication to help with my ovulation should work fine for us. As we started our first month, COVID hit and we were told that they couldn’t recommend us to try at the moment as they didn’t know that effects COVID would have on a pregnant mother or unborn child. We took faith and decided it was in God’s hands and kept trying. After two months we were able to get pregnant. The first part of July we lost our baby at 12 weeks. My doctor recommended waiting on putting me back on medicine and to just relax and try, but we entered our 4th holiday season empty womb and empty arms. Finally, this year, 2021, they have agreed to put me back on the medicine and I pray God gives us another miracle to share with the world soon but it is in His hands so only time can tell. I know it’s a weird topic to discuss especially since fertility seems to be the only subject in our not private world that people don’t like to touch base on, but its all to common, and the more I share our struggles, the more people reach out to me with their own stories. I hope by sharing we can help others going through the same struggle.

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